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This memorial site was created in memory of our beautiful baby girl Emerson Louise Marie Busch. Born April 3rd 2007 she weighed 12 oz and was 10 inches long. Her life was only an hour long, but that hour has changed my husband and I forever. We will forever love and miss our daughter. When we first started trying to get pregnant, we were told by many doctors that our journey would be a long and rough one. We didn’t know how true that would be. With my condition they knew that I wouldn’t be able to conceive on my own. After 6 months of trying on our own they put me on medication. The very first month we conceived and giggled at the fact the doctors told us it would be a long journey. Being told that we would have a hard time conceiving we knew what a miracle and blessing this child was. We knew how precious life was and we were so scared something would happen. I held my breath until my first ultrasound and when they found our baby on the screen and the nurse pointed to this little flickering peanut and said “ your baby has a strong heartbeat” I felt wonderful. We knew it was a long road and many things could go wrong, but with each appointment and each ultrasound we got a little closer to relaxing. We made it past the 12th week and past the 14th week and I started relaxing and allowing myself to really get excited about this child. I was so scared before that something would happen. The pregnancy was wonderful. I didn’t have any problems and I loved every minute of it. At 17 weeks pregnant, I called the hospital complaining of back pain, the nurse told me it was Braxton hicks and I’d be fine. Later we find out it was back labor March 30th at 19 weeks pregnant I woke up from a nap at 4:45 pm and used the restroom only to find myself bleeding. I had yelled for my husband to call the hospital and tell them we were coming. I remember that day so clearly. I sat in the bathroom and prayed for everything to be ok. I knew that this wasn’t a good situation but I thought some how the doctors could fix it. We made it to the hospital and the doctor checked me and said I was 2 cm dilated ,he could see the bag of water. He said he didn’t know what to do for me, so he sent me to a bigger hospital with a Maternal fetal medicine doctor and a NICU. They decided to send me there in ambulance. I laid in the ambulance the whole time trying to keep it together and hoping that my water wouldn’t break. I still didn’t know what was going to happen . At about 11pm I had an ultrasound and saw my baby, the heartbeat was normal and everything looked wonderful, except that we still didn’t know what was going to happen. The resident there told me to take it one day at a time and be happy for each day our baby stayed in my womb. She printed us pictures and told us they would start medication. I had to stay there on bed rest and they couldn’t tell me much of anything because we were a “wait and see” situation. During our stay at the hospital we learned many things about prematurity. My family would tell me about the bulletin board the hospital had of premature babies that had been born around 24 weeks and survived. I remember hearing women hoping to make it past a certain point in their pregnancy so that their baby wouldn’t have to stay in the NICU. I was different, being so early in my pregnancy I prayed that we would make it to the NICU because if I made it that far at least our baby would have a chance. I fought as hard as I could to keep my baby safe. I prayed for just 4 more weeks, if that was all I could get. After five long days on bed rest and the worst roller coaster of emotions, on April 3rd 2007 a nurse stopped in and asked me what my goal was. I told her that I wanted to make it to 24 weeks at least. I didn’t know that same day something horrible would happen. At noon the doctor came in to do an ultrasound. We were hoping that the bag of water moved up higher and we’d buy ourselves some more time. He turned the ultrasound on to find that I had been leaking amniotic fluid all night and the baby was head down. I was 20 weeks and 1 day pregnant. He touched my hand and told me I was going to labor and delivery and there was nothing more they could do. I immediately went into shock. Never in a million years did I think I was going to have my child too soon. I was moved down there quickly and shortly after, my labor started to get really intense. The nurse had stayed with my husband and I. I asked her what to expect. She said that there was a chance the baby wouldn’t make it through the delivery but they would hand me my child right away. We had called our parents and family, they rushed to the hospital to see their grand child for the first and last time. At 4:24pm my daughter Emerson Louise Marie Busch was born, she made it through the delivery alive and they handed her to me right away. She wiggled her tiny fingers and I watched her breathe for just a little while. She was perfect in every way, and looked just like my husband. She was a tiny 12 oz and 10 inches long. They aren’t exactly sure what happened or why. They do believe that for some unexplained reason I just went into premature labor. The pain of losing a child is unexplainable. I was just 22 years old and I had to visit a funeral home for my daughter. Soon after we arrived home, I saw a March of Dimes Walkamerica poster and knew that I had to put all my time and energy in raising money for this cause. I had spent my maternity leave raising money for our walk. We decided that every year for the rest of our lives we were going to walk in memory of our daughter, in hopes that someday there will be a cure for prematurity and no one will have to go through what we did. Uncle Randy wrote you this poem
Eme Lou you were loved by all, when you answered God’s call. Your birth was early about 20 weeks prematurely. Your Mom and Dad kissed you, held you and hugged you. We’re sorry we didn’t have a chance to get to know you. Hug you, kiss you or to hold you. God has a plan that we don’t always understand. But we know you’re now with him as one of his little lambs. You may be with your Great Grandma Nancy and Great Grandpa Ed And other family members that we have never met. We’ll meet you one day when God calls US home And now it is time for me to close this little poem. All our LOVE is with you, as you roam there in Heaven. With Love from your Great Uncle Rand. In Our Hearts We thought of you with love today But that is nothing new We thought about you yesterday And days before that too We think of you in silence We often speak your name Now all we have is memories And your picture in a frame Your memory is our keepsake With which we'll never part God has you in his Keeping We have you in our heart My Sweet Emerson, I think of you everyday. I wonder if you can hear me when i sing you the lullaby i sang to you when you were in my belly. I had so many dreams for you and your future, I thought about what you would look like and sound like. I didn't even know if you were a boy or a girl yet. I didn't care i was just happy to have a miracle growing inside me. I'm so sorry sweetheart that you didn't get to meet all the wonderful people that prayed for you. Mommy is so happy that so many loved you, someday we will all be together. My life has changed so much since the day you were born. I try to live each day for you, in hopes that someday i'll see you again. I try to be a better person and not get angry over tiny things because after losing you certain things just don't matter anymore. I miss you so much and i often pray that i'll feel your presence or maybe you'll visit me in my dreams. I hope you are around us and you can hear me when i sing your lullaby. I hope Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Ed are taking good care of you. I prayed to Grandma Nancy while i was in the hospital and i asked her that if you had to be taken from us that she would be the one to be there when you passed. I asked her to rock you to sleep and sing you lullabyes and to make sure that you were safe. I asked her to do everything i would have done for you. I hope she is there with you as i know she would do a wonderful job. Please watch over your daddy, he has rough days and misses you so much. You will always be Daddy's little girl. He also hopes that you will visit him in his dreams. Eme we loved you the second we found out we were pregnant. We loved like we have never loved before and we will continue to love you with all our hearts. I try so hard to do so good in hopes that i will someday meet you in heaven. I love you little girl. Sweet dreams. Love, Your Mommy What Makes A Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother And I know I heard him say. A Mother has a baby This we know is true. But God, can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you? Yes, you can He replied With confidence in His voice I give many women babies When they leave is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear. I wish I could show you What your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile With other children and say "We go to earth and learn our lessons Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom Who had so much love for me I learned my lesson very quickly My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep On her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear "Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here." So you see my dear sweet one Your children are OK Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with me Until your lesson is through And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start!!! God, Take This Child.... Sweet child whom we never really got to know, It’s hard for us to let you go. We waited and we wanted you. We had so many dreams for you. We think of smiles we'll never see. We think of events that will never be. There will be no first steps and no first teeth. There is only a void and our own grief. We planned to take you to places far and near. We yearned to keep you safe and free from fear. We hoped to show you much of your new world. We wanted to teach you as your life unfurled. It’s hard to understand why you, our baby, died. We feel so numb right now, many tears we’ve cried. We have so many questions and no answers seem to come. We tried so hard to save you; nothing could be done. God, we stand before you broken-hearted and ask you to heal these lives that must be parted from this little one we can no longer hold, who will always be a part of us, even when we're old.) God, take this child in your loving arms. No more can she suffer any harm. Bless her always and bless us too. Be with us and help us to make it through. Author Unknown Broken Chain
I now dedicate my time to raising money for the March of Dimes in Emerson's Memory We knew little that morning that God was going to call your name In life we loved you dearly In death we do the same It broke our hearts to lose you You did not go alone For part of us went with you The day God called you home You left us peaceful memories Your love is still our guide And though we cannot see you You are always at our side Our family chain is broken And nothing seems the same But as God calls us One by One The chain will Link again Dear Emerson,
It's September 2007 now and you should have been here. You would have been about a month old. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I remember everything on the day that you were born. I remember your tiny fingers wiggling when you heard me talking to you on my belly after you were born. I told you I loved you and I always will. I always go back to thinking why the doctors never considered me high risk. Would you be here if they just watched me closer. I can't help but think of the way things would have been.
I would give anything to have you right now. Its hard still five months later, to look back on what life would have been like. I still have that empty feeling. I went through everything any other mother did, I went through labor and I gave birth to a child. Except I went home empty handed and I only had my child alive for one hour. That hour with you I will cherish it forever. I hope you know how much we love you. I remember how excited we were when we found out we were pregnant. I wrote down everything and kept every ultrasound picture and counted down to every appointment and counted down every week. We wanted you so bad, your daddy was so excited and couldn't wait to hold you. He kept asking when you would be able to hear him talk to my belly. He was ready to bond with you. We miss you so much. What I would give to hold you again. you will always be our first baby and we will never forget you. We love you. I held you in my womb then i held you in my arms and now until it no longer beats I'll hold you in my heart. I love you. Love, Mommy and Daddy 12/31/2007 Dear Emerson, I miss you more than anything. Christmas wasn't right without you. This would have been your first Christmas, Daddy and I miss you more than you will ever know. The pain never gets easier, I just learn to live my different life. As much as it hurts, I am so happy that I had that hour with you. I would do anything to have you back. I wanted you so bad, we were so happy for you and I'm so hurt that you aren't here. I had a Christmas tree up for you this year and I will continue to put it up every year and buy you a new ornament every year. Someday I hope to have other children to share you with. I will tell them all about you and then we will decorate you tree together and when I finally get to be with you again, I will hope that my children will continue to put your tree up for you every year. I love you more than words can say and I think of you everyday of my life. You mean everything to me. I hope you know how much we love you. Daddy and I talk about you often, and will forever. You were are first baby and we hold a special place for you in our hearts and we will forever. I only hope I see you again someday. I still don't understand why you had to go, and I never will but please know daddy and I wanted you more than anything in the world. Your daddy was so hurt the day you were born. In all the pain, we were amazed at how beautiful you were. You were a part of daddy and I and we were overwhelmed with the feelings of holding our very first child. In all that pain, you were our tiny precious daughter. I wish we could have had you a little longer, I'm so sorry that I couldn't do anything. I will never forget you. Never. I love you with every thing I have in my body. For those five months I kept you as safe as possible, I have never been happier then the time that I was pregnant with you. Those were the best five months of my life. I love you and I pray for a better 2008. Daddy loves you and misses you, he needs you to visit him sometime in a dream or whatever it is you can do. He misses you more than anything. Know that we love you more than words will ever be able to say. I miss you and Mommy will keep you close to her heart forever. Love, Mommy TEAM EME LOU walks for Emerson every year for the March of Dimes these links to the videos below are of my fundraising efforts and why we walk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cghWrRBW4I8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gohjFFPoKxA  |
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Click here to see Emerson Busch's Family Tree |
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Tributes and Condolences
| Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake |
| This memorial website was created by Sabrina Busch on 04/23/2007.
click here to contact Sabrina |
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| Trying to keep Emerson's Memory alive, it's what keeps Mommy going. | ||||||||||||||||||
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